A Lifetime of Happiness: Movies, TV, and Video Games

Call Me By Your Name (2017)

June 29, 2022 Steve Bennet-Martin, Stephen Martin-Bennet Season 1 Episode 126
A Lifetime of Happiness: Movies, TV, and Video Games
Call Me By Your Name (2017)
Show Notes Transcript

The Steves discuss the 2017 gay blockbuster, Call Me By Your Name, along with what's making them happy in pop culture today!

What's Making Us Happy?

  • The Circle Season 3 (Netflix)
  • Project Pride Events in Sarasota

Movie Discussion

  • Names and Number behind the scenes
  • Giving up your bedroom to guests
  • Phrases we can't stand
  • Instant dislike turning into attraction
  • Getting caught masturbating
  • When did Elio's parents catch on?
  • Poor Marzia
  • Going to work with your parents
  • Flirting/hinting in code
  • Did they cross any 'line'?
  • Creative hiding spots for fun
  • That peach scene!
  • Armie Hammers wardrobe malfunctions
  • Thoughts on the ending

Let us know what you thought of the movie by emailing us at happylifepod@gmail.com or by hitting us up on all the socials @happylifepod

Ending- Any music or audio clips were borrowed from the original source material.

Support the show
Steve:

Hello, returning happys and new listeners. This is Steve Bennet-Martin,

Stephen:

and this is Stephen Martin-Bennet. And welcome

Steve:

to a lifetime of happiness. The podcast where I take you on our journey through some of the movies. TV shows and other bits of pop culture that are helping to keep us happy while hopefully bring a smile to your face along the

Stephen:

way. And today we're wrapping up pride month with a real peach of a movie. Call me by your name.

Steve:

I get that joke now. but before we get into all that, what's been making you happy. My love.

Stephen:

So it's several things. One of them is absolutely. All the project pride events that we've been having recently. Yes. We last weekend had the project pride pet parade. It's the second annual and you and I led the way with it and little REKS was the grand Marshall because he was last year's winner and it was absolutely fantastic. And one of the things I loved more than everybody just showing up and having a good time is all of those dogs. And there were a lot of dogs. Yeah. There was no barking at each other. Like all the dogs were good boys and girls that were just happy to see other dogs. I've never seen that many dogs together and had that kind of reaction because you don't get that at a dog park even.

Steve:

I don't know. I just think that the pets with gay owners are just generally more well behaved and loved.

Stephen:

That's probably true too. But the other thing that I've been loving is love Victor season three.

Steve:

Yes. Following up from last week's episode of love Simon the TV show that we mentioned was imagined from it was love Victor and it, we just finished the

Stephen:

series. Yep. They had three seasons and it's on Hulu and it's really, really good. Go watch it. If you Haven. yes.

Steve:

And while you're over at Netflix, you can also check out the circle season three.

Stephen:

You absolutely can.

Steve:

I've watched it. And they had the spice girls on it. and it was interesting and fun. Think it's a guy. Yes. So if you wanna see more spice girls and more reality and more cat fishing and more of all of. The circle season three is also now. Yes,

Stephen:

it was a good time. Now tell us a little bit about this movie.

Steve:

Well, I MTB says that. Call me by your name. Plot is that in 1980s, Italy romance blossoms between a 17 year old student and the older man hired as his father's research assistant.

Stephen:

That's a pretty good description. And I have many thoughts on things in this movie. But in terms of a synopsis

Steve:

that'll work. Yes. And why we actually chose the movie before watching it in hopes that it would make us happy. yeah. Which

Stephen:

as we were watching it, I was like, oh, damn. I know, because at first I was not into it at

Steve:

all, but why did you, why did you find good or happy making in the movie? So.

Stephen:

I really enjoyed Timothy Chak as Ellio. Yeah, he was fantastic. And I can see all the people saying, oh, this is an up and coming star. This is. And but I also loved the family relationship. Yeah. That was fantastic. And also any movie that has gorgeous scenery of Italy and houses and stuff I'm in yeah.

Steve:

and I, I was as well surprised by how much I enjoyed the family dynamics and just the love and support that was there. That you don't always see both in real life and in fiction. But yeah. Call me by your name is adapted by the novel of the same name written by Andrea Asman. It was released by Sony pictures in the us premiering at Sundance on January 22nd, coming to theaters quite later in November 24th, 2017.

Stephen:

And the film was directed by Luca Gudino. Who followed this with speria from a screenplay by James Ivo.

Steve:

Yes. And the movie stars, army hammer as Oliver, Timothy Chae as Ellio Pearlman with Michael Stolberg as his father. Mr. Pearlman. Yep.

Stephen:

Hammer is known for his role as Cameron in the social network and death on the Nile as Simon Doyle, as well as all of his current. Drama in the tabloids with abuse and cannibalism, but we will not be talking about that today.

Steve:

Cannibalism doesn't sound great. No, it's not. no Shama now stars in the Doune movies as Paul and was Kyle in Ladybird

Stephen:

and fun. In fact, he learned to speak Italian and play classical piano pieces that were used in the film.

Steve:

I suck at alternate languages. And I would've thought that he was a natural,

Stephen:

he was really, really good with his Italian.

Steve:

Yes. And Stolberg was Dr. Hoff STTR in the shape of water, which he saw and liked. Oh, he was so good. He was Larry in a serious man.

Stephen:

I didn't think that a movie about Phish sex was going to be really good, but I should never have doubt. GU Deltoro

Steve:

I know that explains your new, recent porn hub search results. it does not.

Stephen:

There is actually, I can't say that there's not Phish sex on porn hub because I've not looked, but because we share an account

Steve:

ha, now,

Stephen:

now let's get on with the movie and no more fish sex.

Steve:

Yes. Now it's in the summer of 83. Somewhere in north Italy, 17 year old Ellio Pearlman is living with his parents. His father, a professor of archeology has a graduate student come every summer to help with his research. And this year's student Oliver arrives to stay with the Pearlmans Elio has to give up his room. So Oliver can stay there where he instantly falls

Stephen:

asleep. Did you I'm sure because your parents seem like my parents that if there were guests staying in from out of town, even if it was just for the. That you had to give up your room and like sleep in your brother's room or on the floor, on the couch or something like that. Right. I

Steve:

actually did not really. Nope. Mostly because the family was staying with us. We made them stay with Grammy around the corner who had the extra empty rooms.

Stephen:

well yeah, I had to give up my room anytime that there were aunts and uncles and stuff

Steve:

staying. Yeah. And whenever we would. Would have a situation where like someone needed to give up their room. It was always Mickey first being the younger brother. Oh yeah.

Stephen:

But like, what's interesting. So Ellio has to give up his room for the summer to this guy. Yeah. The room he gave up in the room, he stayed in look very similar. I don't see why. Oliver couldn't have stayed in the guest room that Ellio had to move into. I don't know. I don't either. Maybe it's in the book and they just didn't go over in the movie.

Steve:

Yeah. The two begin spending time together with Ellio showing Oliver around. Despite there being not much to show as summer in Italy is when most Italians go away for a bit. Yep. We knew that when we were looking into Italian vacations, you're like, do not go during this time in the summer

Stephen:

because like August to July do not go

Steve:

Oliver and Elio's father get into a heated discussion of the etymology of an apricot. So

Stephen:

whenever we were watching this I don't think Oliver came off. Well, I think, you know, it's fine to have that discussion of, you know, professor you're incorrect on where apricot comes from. Yeah. But he sounded like a total Dick when he was telling it, like, there was no. Respect or reverence for your boss? Like what did you think when they

Steve:

were doing it? It definitely didn't make him come out in the greatest light. I know that there needed to be drama at first of them not liking each other. Yeah. Because that's how most romance movies start for whatever reason. I mean, I guess it, it works cuz it worked for us too. but I know that that whole, like initially we don't like each other, but then we learned to love each other thing, just, this was one of the ways to see that he was a bit of a

Stephen:

Dick. Yeah. And so there's also this scene where Oliver takes Ellio to a bar with him where Oliver plays cards with a group of people as if he's known them forever. And like they're old friends and I'm like, you've been in town two days. and it came off as weird to me. Was it to show that Oliver is worldly and can adapt to any situation, or do you think that this is possibly another thing that was. Better described in the book and not really here, or am I making too much out of a scene? I mean,

Steve:

it definitely was like, oh, he's been friends with these people for a while, but I guess, you know, in a small town, when there's not much else to do, if he goes, if that's his like maybe third time going to the one place in town, that's still open. Yeah. There's a good chance. He's starting to see some regulars. Mm-hmm I can only imagine if it's like college towns where like you, you might not go months without seeing someone during the, the main year, but during the dead time you run into them left and right. All the time. Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Something like that.

Stephen:

Now when everyone is out sunbathing and playing volleyball, Oliver lightly massages Ellio shoulders. And Ellio recoils at the touch. Like he got burnt Ellio then complains to his family about how arrogant Oliver is when he says later. Yes.

Steve:

I know the one that instantly that scene made me think of was for you. Oh. Which is just giving the one word reply back.

Stephen:

Okay. One letter reply back in text messages. If somebody writes you something and all you write back is the letter. K. Just be glad I can't reach through the phone because I would smack you for the just saying Kay. Like do better.

Steve:

Well, and, and nowadays it's almost like I would say it doesn't even bother me with people's written responses as much as when they just do the thumbs up. Oh. And that's the end of the conversation. And they're like, okay, I see you. And I'm choosing not to continue this conversation right now. Yeah.

Stephen:

Because you're not giving anything to work off of at that point. And yeah. I don't think it's any like verbal things anymore. I think it's. Electronic etiquette that gets that I'm annoyed with yep.

Steve:

Oliver then convinces Ellio to go swimming and they bond over music. Ellio writes to himself that he was too harsh to Oliver at first. He thought Oliver didn't like him.

Stephen:

Did you ever instantly dislike someone? Because you felt that they disliked you first?

Steve:

Yes. That definitely happens. Even in senior living right now. There's. You know, one other person who's also like identifies as a gay man. And there's like, no reason why we've never like hit it off or gotten along. But I always just like, got the impression he didn't like me. So I just was like, fine. Well, if he doesn't like me, I don't like him. And I have no reason why I just like him other than the fact that he didn't seem to like me very much.

Stephen:

Yeah. Now there's I just like, I remember it more in like college and stuff that I'd run into somebody or even just when I was new in Cincinnati. And I don't know if I was reading too much into their like, visual, like cues or body language. And I was like, oh, they're an awful person because they weren't immediately friendly towards me. Now we see that Ellio plays the piano quite well and is often requested to entertain guests at the house with his playing with his mother, telling him not to make a big deal out of it and just do it. And then that night Oliver skips dinner and his absence causes Ellio to toss and turn like unable to really sleep. And then the next day Oliver returns while Ellio is masturbating. And Oliver's. That's when he is like, let's go swimming yeah. To their ancient pool. And he tries to make Ellio stand up right away and Ellio goes, no, no, no, I I'll. I'll I'll meet you down there. Yeah.

Steve:

Do you think which means he totally knew that he had a hard on that's what I think. Oh yeah, totally. Now we also find out, in addition to piano, he also plays guitar. Oliver asks him to play the song again, but Ellio takes Oliver inside and plays the same version of the thing on the piano. Not doing what Oliver asked out of spite, like changing the way that it's played slightly.

Stephen:

Yeah. And he seems to be acting and speaking. Petly just to antagonize Oliver. Do you think he's doing it out of a, well, I don't think you like me, so I'm gonna act this way or

Steve:

what you think is I think it is more like, why don't you like me? Like, I want to like you, I was too hard on you. I want you to like me.

Stephen:

And there's a lot of internal emotions going on for Ilio at this point. But I also don't feel like the film at this point had showed us. To make all the angst justified. Yeah.

Steve:

No. Do you? No, I, I agree. It, it became a little bit later for me with that. Right. I mean, the next thing we know Ellio and his friend Mar Marza, Marcia, Marcia see Oliver dancing and kissing local girl Chira. The DJ plays love my way and Ellio joins the dancing afterwards. He, and Marilla go swimming that. And the next day he tells Oliver and his dad, he almost had sex with her, which for me, it was like, why, why? Like, could you, would you like come home from a date and be like, mom and dad, I almost had sex with them.

Stephen:

Well, and so part of me, it feels that it's less out to his dad and more to like, I think we are supposed to. feel further along with the Ellio and Oliver thing where I don't think that there's been any justification for it yet. And it was more of a, yeah. So you can kiss a girl while I can have sex with a girl. See, we can both do it. Yeah. I think that's what it was trying to do, but I don't think it was earned. Yeah.

Steve:

Yeah. And just, I mean, be again though, just because his dad was there. That's what, that's what kind of caught me off guard. Because even once I was in long term relationships, my parents like get skittish with talk, thinking about or talking about as

Stephen:

they should. no Marcia ask Ellio if he's with her, because he's angry at Gira for being with Oliver. Now, the chemistry between Elio and Marcia did you feel that there was a parent chemistry there? Or do you think that there's any chemistry between Ellio and Oliver yet?

Steve:

I definitely feel like he has more chemistry with Oliver, like it is at, at the scene where I started to see it and feel it especially since she was able to notice it. Mm-hmm you know I mean, I could see that there was like a certain level of a friendship there, but when, when she says. I'm afraid you're gonna hurt me. I'm like, yeah. Later. Yeah. He's, he's definitely, definitely going to hurt you,

Stephen:

sweetie. Yeah. This is one of those things that if this movie took place in the 2000 tens, she would've already realized he was gay and she would've just been the best friend. Yeah.

Steve:

Ellio becomes increasingly interested in Oliver tagging along on an excavation to spend time with him. That night he goes back to the river to meet Marcia, but she's not there. And

Stephen:

that seemed almost a thing of. oh, crap. I'm not supposed to be gay. I need to go see the girl again. Yeah. Like it was, it seemed very like he has a lot of internal conflict going on. And did you ever go to work with your dad? Nope.

Steve:

Never had to. Never wanted to. I went to work with my mom a couple times when she was a teacher's aid on like days that they had like. Admin days. Yeah. But Nope, never with my dad. What about you?

Stephen:

Oh, like I was a fixture at the bank because it was within walking distance at my school. I would usually just walk up to the bank after I was done with school and I would hang out there. And there are a lot of amazing people at the bank, but my favorite person was at that point, she was the receptionist Vicki, and we both had a love of horror movies. And you know, the one, two Freddy's coming for you. Yeah. We decided to write it all the way to 20 mm-hmm and rhyming certain things with 14 difficult. It was difficult, but Vicky was amazing and she's still one of my favorite people in the entire world. She's like a sister, but I loved going to the bank mainly like less seeing what dad was doing. Loans and big deal, more of the people mm-hmm I love the people there. Did

Steve:

you also love wearing someone's shorts on your head as a hat as you inhale their manly scent?

Stephen:

I did not. Because that's what Ellio does when Oliver's out the next day, he sneaks into his room and sniffs his short. And he wears them

Steve:

as a hat and like a, like a weird, like, almost like he was about to start like humping, like dry humping the, yeah, cuz

Stephen:

he stuck his butt up in the air. Yeah. Like it was sexual, very sexual, but he like the way he stuck the shorts over his head was not sexual. It was more of. I don't know, like a captain underpants type of headdress thing. It, it, it was very weird and like, choices.

Steve:

I've never really been into sense like that though. Like, no, not even just like sniffing someone's underwear, but like, or shoes or socks or not

Stephen:

shoes or socks or, or

Steve:

pits or sweaty balls. Like no, none of it's been cl I enjoy that. Yes. So, yeah, but I mean, not to yuck. Someone's yum. Who. Yes.

Stephen:

So if that's your thing,

Steve:

that's wonderful. I'm glad you were seen in this scene. Yes. Now Elio's mother reads the story about a night, who is unable to tell a princess. He loves her. Is it better to speak or to die? Ask the prince when Ellio says he doesn't think he'd have the courage to have a conversation like that. His mom makes sure to tell him that they are here for him. And this is when I first realized that they totally know he is gay. Yeah. 100%. On a trip into town Ellio without saying it explicitly, lets Oliver know that he has feelings for him. Oliver tells him to pretend he never said it. We, we can't talk about those things. We just can't.

Stephen:

Were you good at flirting or hinting in code?

Steve:

Not at all. I have as much tact when it comes to flirting or doing anything code as I do whispering or keeping secrets.

Stephen:

see. I was always like, it's the natural Libra in me that I'm an excellent flirt and good at like, Speaking in code. See,

Steve:

I think that I could probably flirt if I needed to at this point, cuz like I kind of like work flirt with some of the women that I work with. Yeah. But it's not romantic, but I can definitely get it with like the, the lighthearted flirting.

Stephen:

And so during that whole thing, I love their interaction with Ellio ending it saying I wanted you to know, which I think is so powerful in and of itself. Just being able to say I needed to speak my truth and I needed you to hear it.

Steve:

yes. And on the way home Ellio takes Oliver to a Creek that he calls his secret place. Mm-hmm

Stephen:

and Oliver's like, why are you always putting yourself down? So you won't, are you really that afraid of what I think? And this was the scene that like the fountain scene, right before this, it finally clicked for me and I saw it between them, but this one was where I was like, oh, wow. It's much further along than I gave it credit for, but it was those two scenes that really propelled their relationship and sold it

Steve:

to oh yeah. Because he cares so much what Oliver

Stephen:

thinks. Yeah. You know, and that's when, after they're playing in the water and they lay out in the sun and then they share a kiss and it was sweet, but then Ellio wants it to be more passionate. And then Oliver says, no, no, I, I want to be good. We haven't done anything to be ashamed of yet and we should leave it there. And then Ellio being the teenager that he is reaches over and grabs Oliver's crotch. Well, yeah,

Steve:

I would've done the same.

Stephen:

now like, ha do you think that they've done anything wrong at this point? Do you think that anything they could do would be

Steve:

wrong? I mean, It took me some time to wrap my mind around from previews. I thought that he was like a tutor or something and he was employed for Ellio. Right. And so it took me some time to get my mindset of like, no, he's just working for the dad, you know? Sure. He's a couple years older. Mm-hmm but it's not any sort of power dynamic relationship where the one's above the other, like I thought. Right. And I think that, that with that, like, especially like as we go into the movie further and his parents definitely support. And like almost like embrace it or push the two of them together,

Stephen:

because I definitely think that Oliver, no matter how old the act army hammer is, I think they're trying to portray Oliver as most likely a grad student. Yeah. Which would make him 22 to 24 and, or, and you know, things in Italy work differently.

Steve:

The following day, Elio gets a nose bleed and Oliver begins giving him a mixture of a foot massage reflexology, and a discussion on Jewish heritage. Yeah. As he talks about the star that he

Stephen:

wears and Elio's family is also Jewish and a mix of other things. But Elio says that his family are Jews of discretion and they

Steve:

also like celebrate Christmas and right. Things like that. So,

Stephen:

you know, and that was. interesting because you, like, I don't know what it was like for Jewish people in Italy at that time. You know, Italy was right there with fascism and everything like that. During world war II. Mm-hmm

Steve:

but yeah, Ellio begins wearing a Jewish star necklace. That's just like Oliver's. Yep. Which like I can get, like what, especially when you were younger and you were like into someone older, you were like, there was almost that mixture of like, wanting to be with them and wanting to be them. Yeah. That I remember experiencing, but Oliver's seemingly nowhere to be found over the next few days, avoiding Ellio and causing him visible pain. Ellio begins to spend more time with Marsia instead.

Stephen:

Yep. Marcia asked if Ellio reads a lot, because people that do are secretive and hide who they really are. And she says that she holds back from him because she thinks that he'll hurt her and she doesn't wanna be hurt.

Steve:

And as we said, we know she's going to be hurt. That is her main job in this movie. Thank you for being here. Do you agree that people who read a lot are more secretive? No.

Stephen:

I think that that's just her teenage pull of. something out there and, you know, he says, no, no, no, I'm not gonna hurt you.

Steve:

And because of course he's a 17 year old wanting to get his rocks off rocks off. Yep. Of course. He's gonna say whatever he can to convince her that everything's gonna be okay. And to, to put out. And she does in the grass,

Stephen:

in the grass. Yep. And Ellio writes and throws out note after note to Oliver and he finally settles on can't stand the silence, need to speak to you and leaves it under Oliver's door. And the next morning he gets a note back that says, grow up, I'll see you at midnight. Marcia comes home and after swim, she, and Ellio sneak away to have sex again.

Steve:

Yes. And they go like, through the servants quarters, up, back stairs into an unused room attic

Stephen:

space that has some, a mattress set up and yeah. Yeah.

Steve:

That like thus comes off when you move it. Cuz that's always sexy. but I mean, it did remind me of some of my, less than glamorous kind of secret spaces when I was younger. To, to hook up with. Yeah. Did you have any spots like that?

Stephen:

No, I was just more clever and careful with where it happened. It wasn't, there were no secret spots. It was just whose parents aren't home and what can we get

Steve:

away with? True. Yeah. No, for me there was also. This park is good at this time or that one doesn't have security or the spot in the woods or? Yeah,

Stephen:

I lived in a town of 2000 people. We didn't have things like that. Aww. But that evening his parents have a family friend and his husband over while Ellio keeps an eye on the time. Almost

Steve:

saying we're cool with the gays. You could be gay. Yeah. Gay, gay. And

Stephen:

Ellio keeps going. Is it midnight yet? Is it midnight yet? Is it midnight yet? And he has to entertain the guests again with his. And after he leaves, Ellio goes to see Oliver and the two finally sleep together and Oliver tells Ellio call me by your name and I'll call you by mine. Ellio calls, Oliver Ellio and Oliver calls. Ellio

Steve:

Oliver. Well, now what I understand that this was an extremely intimate moment and that different people have different things that tied them together. Yeah.

Stephen:

Steven. It doesn't work because we have the same name.

Steve:

But like, if you were with someone who had a different name, let's say my name, I, oh, I don't get, it was Frederick. It doesn't do anything for me. You just say, if I started calling you

Stephen:

Frederick. No, it doesn't do anything for me. I don't, I don't get this scene. Like it didn't resonate with me. So any listeners out there, if you saw this and you were like, oh yeah, that's really romantic. That's. please tell us, please tell

Steve:

us because we would love that clarification.

Stephen:

Yeah, I didn't get it. It didn't work for me. The next morning they all Ellio asked for Oliver's shirt when it's time for him to leave Italy. and I like that. It's very sweet.

Steve:

Oh yeah. I remember like, like my phrase where like, boy, you always had the boyfriend sweater, the sweater that you stole from your boyfriend. I had a

Stephen:

POAs on chair, a CD, lots of clothes.

Steve:

yes. The next day there's a slight bit of tension between them. Oliver seems to have a vulnerable look on his face and suggests they go swimming while there Oliver asked Ellio do you hold what happened last night against me? Oliver seems to have some deep seated, gay guilt, which of the time makes sense. Yeah. But

Stephen:

it, and it is interesting that they're both pursuing each other, but then they both have this internal conflict and you don't often see that in a movie like this. Like one of them will have it, but it's interesting for both. Yeah. To have it.

Steve:

Yes. He does get Elio's assurance that he very much enjoyed what happened last. Oliver escalates things with the world's quickest, fluff, fluff at job. Yeah. Just to make sure that he can still turn on Ellio they then talk things out in town and Oliver expresses his desire to keep Ellio safe while Ellio just is happy to be with Oliver.

Stephen:

fun fact, army hammer suffered wardrobe malfunctions from the shorty war throughout the movie. And his testicle had to be digitally edited out of some of the shorts as a result. yes. Test seems like something that would happen to you. Yes, it

Steve:

certainly would. Later Ellio is eating a peach and uses it to master Brate with he finishes in the peach and leaves it on the dresser. What's the strangest thing you've ever used. that's unconventional master atory tools.

Stephen:

so when I was like 11 I had this old talking, like there was an 80 sitcom called Alf mm-hmm and you could get stuffed animals and press on Alf stomach, and he would say his catch raises. You could also open up the back, take out the voice. And then there was this tighter lined compartment inside. So yeah, that, what about you

Steve:

see Mo mostly just like socks and like I never got into the vegetables or no, I didn't

Stephen:

do a vegetable thing

Steve:

either. I would say that then again, I probably got more creative about things. I put up my butt than things I put my penis into. Just because with the friend side, my hand did the job. okay. We're gonna leave it here. Kids. explicit rating earned for the episode.

Stephen:

When Oliver finds him later, he realizes what happened and goes to playfully, eat the peach and Ellio bursts into tears because he doesn't want Oliver to go and they continue spending time together getting closer and more intimate. and their talk of, I don't want you to go. I wasted so many days. Why didn't you give me a sign? I did volleyball, but the way you reacted. Yeah. And I, do you think that's enough of a sign? I think

Steve:

that, especially back then trying to like, you can't just come out and be like, you're hot. I want you like, but it was in front of

Stephen:

everybody. Yeah. True. I, I don't, I, I think Oliver, if he. Really was gonna try. Yeah. There are many, many more times where they were at the house and not in front of all of Elio's friends from

Steve:

the town. Yeah. Now, did you ever have aling with an expiration date on it like this? I, I

Stephen:

did it, I even called it expiration dating. Yeah. And I met someone and. we hit it off. And then on our first real date halfway through the date after I had taken them to my favorite sushi place and got in the best table and everything halfway through their lake, and I'm moving in three months and me being the stupid 20 something I was at the time was like, it's fine. We'll just have fun. Like we'll date and things and it won't get too serious. Did it? It did

Steve:

on my part. Yeah. And I can see that being hard. I, I don't know what it is other than the fact that I've dysfunctional, but some of my most functional relationships have been the short term ones with an end date. Like it's like I would, with the longer ones, it would always end messy. Yeah. With this one, it'd be like, Hey, if we knew we were gonna date for three months, you know, it ended then typically it was like during the school year with like summers away from college or going here or going there there were a handful of times where my, my short term relationships with an expiration date actually were almost healthier than the one, the ones that were meant to last a while.

Stephen:

Mm. After that one, it was very, I was very clear with myself that if it didn't have the. To be open ended. Yeah, I wasn't

Steve:

starting it. Yes. Now what would you take to eat a peach that I used?

Stephen:

question please. Okay.

Steve:

Later on Marsia comes over to look for, Ellio wondering why he's ghosted her. He can't provide an explanation, leaving her devastated and hurt just like she feared. And we knew. Yep.

Stephen:

And Oliver's last stop before leaving the country is three days working in better Gamo Elio's parents think it would be nice for Ellio to go with him. So Oliver says goodbye to the Pearlmans and the two of them take a bus to Bega.

Steve:

Yeah. And at this point they, they like know and well I'm a hundred, hundred percent. They're like, yeah, wouldn't it be nice for our son to go with the older man for two days

Stephen:

to have a romantic, have a adventure in a city? Yeah. They're like, it was very, very, very

Steve:

clear yes, alone together. The two, see the sites go out in the evening and get drunk. All Oliver hears love my way playing from the car and runs towards it, dancing to the song. And at this point, do you believe their chemistry?

Stephen:

100%. Honestly, I, once the fountain scene where they were like, we can't talk about this. And then the swimming in the Creek and the kiss on the thing, like right then their chemistry was very, very apparent. And I heard that they filmed. The movie in order. Yes. Which doesn't always

Steve:

happen. Yep. And there was only one rehearsal before shooting where SHA Banham were told to roll around in the grass making out. And that was their practice. Yeah. Seconds into the scene. The director stopped them and told them to act more passionately after that. Nobody told them to stop and they just kept on going at it and going at it, even as the director walked away they eventually allegedly had to be stopped and pulled apart by crew members.

Stephen:

And. That's one of those things. If they filmed this in order, like it's not only are they are there characters getting to know each other and develop chemistry? They, as actors are also getting to know each other and develop more chemistry and you can almost see that with every single situation that as the movie goes on. Everyone seems closer. Yeah. You know, the parents in Ellio Ellio and Oliver, like it really works. Maybe not as much with the parents, but like the second half of the movie feels in stark contrast to kind of the angsty first half.

Steve:

Yeah. And finally Oliver has to leave and the two have a long hug. Goodbye. There are no words you can just kind of feel that sadness and holding back of tears. Because they can only say and do so much out in public Ellio watches. His Oliver gets on the train to leave and calls his mother to come pick him up from the station crying on the right home.

Stephen:

Ugh, that was rough back in town. Like just as they get back into town, he encounters Marcia and she tells them that she isn't mad at him and that they agree to be friends for life. And. So the next scene is one of my favorites. And so I have the whole speech that the dad gives go for it. And so back at the house, Mr. Per notices, how sad Ellio is. And he tells him when you least expect it, nature has a cunning way of finding our weakest spot. Just remember I am here right now. You may not wanna feel anything, perhaps you never wish to feel anything. Perhaps it's not to me that you'll wanna speak about these things, but feel something you did. You had a beautiful friendship, maybe more than a friendship. And I envy you in my place. Most parents would hope the whole thing goes away to pray that their sons land on their feet, but I'm not such a parent in your place. If there is pain nurse, it. If there is a flame, don't snuff it out. Don't, don't be brutal with it. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster that we go bankrupt by the age of 30 and have less to offer each time we start with someone new, but to make yourself feel nothing. So is not to feel anything. What a waste.

Steve:

Yeah. And with this, do you agree that it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all

Stephen:

100% every single time? Yes. Always. Always

Steve:

also loves. I also love when he says what you had was good. You two are good, which is because throughout the movie, both Ellio and Oliver are worried about being considered good or bad because of their love. Yeah.

Stephen:

And my favorite character in the movie is Dr. Pearlman, the father. Yeah. The following winter, snow was every. Fun fact, I didn't know. It snowed in Italy. It does. Did you know it snowed in Italy?

Steve:

I learned it when we watched this movie.

Stephen:

Okay. So no, you didn't know either but

Steve:

I would've thought from I'm sure that there was some sort of princess in Christmas time movie that we've had, that was near Italy where we could have

Stephen:

guessed no. I swear. We haven't seen anything in Italy that took place in the, in that section, I guess it's because it's Northern Italy. Please add

Steve:

as listeners for any other significant movies. We probably discussed that took place in nature in Italy but yes Hanukkah candles are lit and Lakas are being prepared for holiday dinner. Ellio answers their ring phone and it's Oliver. Yay. They tell each other, they miss each other and then Oliver shares the news that he's engaged. Two. The pearls, jump on the line to say hello, but then leave Ellio and Oliver to speak. Ellio tells Oliver how they knew about him. Oliver guessed as much as did we. Yeah. They call each other by their names. One more time. Ellio Oliver and Oliver tells Ellio. He remembers everything Ellio goes and sits in front of the fireplace eyes, welling up with tears. His dinner is about to be served the end.

Stephen:

Okay. So. I know, I didn't write the book. I didn't write the movie, blah, blah, blah. Why do most gay films always seem to have to end on heartbreak like that? Like why couldn't like, why couldn't there have been a happy ending for them? Like Oliver, I think would've loved to have been a part of that family. Like, I, I know, blah, blah, blah, but. I wish more gay films had happy endings. It doesn't always have to be tragic

Steve:

for us. I know. Well, we have our good love Simons in ones like that, where everyone loves happily ever after. Yeah. I, I, I do feel that, especially because this movie is about a first love that it is so rare for those first loves to, to last. Yeah. I feel like, especially in our community, as a lot of times, our first loves are still while we're figuring out ourselves

Stephen:

100% you're right.

Steve:

That because they're more likely to end in heartbreak. Movies about the first love, you know, can end like that. But I, for some re like, at least this way, though, it ended in heartbreak, but it didn't end up with hurt. Right? Like they, they were missing each other and had love for each other and it passed and it hurt in that sense, but no one hurt each other. They didn't end D painfully or terribly. They can look both, look back on the relationship for what it was. As you know, a really nice summer fling. And I, I, I really like that. And they'll never be

Stephen:

able to look at peaches the same way again.

Steve:

No, but neither will we.

Stephen:

No. And do you know, what's funny is when online, if you look up things about the movie, people talk about two scenes, the peach scene, and the father advice scene at the end, those are the two scenes that stick out to people, which did you like better? The father advice scene at the end.

Steve:

Yes, me too. It definitely was that

Stephen:

all. So in terms of us picking a movie, we had never seen before with hopes that it would be good. How do you feel? I

Steve:

feel like it made me happy, like in the end, like it made me that soft, sad kind of happy. Yeah. Where you're like, I'm happy that I saw the movie. I'm happy that it did as well as it did. I'm happy for the representation we got in. I'm happier with the relationship than I thought it was going into it, thinking it was a problematic, like dynamic of power thing. Yeah. I got to learn a new way to think of peaches. I think that's everything you want in a movie. It was a new way to think of fruit. I, I mean,

Stephen:

absolutely.

Steve:

Yes. And so we would love to hear what you think of it. Listeners, you can do that by emailing us directly at happy life, pod, gmail.com, or

Stephen:

you can get in touch with us on all the socials, whether that is Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or TikTok, happy life

Steve:

pod. Yes. And until next to everyone stay happy.