A Lifetime of Happiness: Movies, TV, and Video Games

Tarot Cards

Steve Bennet-Martin, Stephen Martin-Bennet Season 1 Episode 188

This week to get to know about Stephen's metaphysical passions as we discuss his Daily Tarot Card Draw, along with our hot-take on the 2023 suspense series, The Other Black Girl.

Topics covered:

  • Our connection to tarot
  • Turning Stephen's interest into a daily practice
  • Favorite and Misunderstood Cards
  • When should and how can you get a reading
  • The Other Black Girl (Hulu 2023)- names and numbers behind the scenes
  • Being 'The Other Gay Guy'
  • Would you straightwash to achieve your goals?
  • And much more!

Go to linktr.ee/risingphoenixsrq for all these Rising Phoenix and Moon Ceremonies!

Let us know what you think of this switch in format at happylifepod@gmail.com or interact with us on the socials @happylifepod

Until next time, stay happy!

Ending- Any music or audio clips were borrowed from the original source material.

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Steve:

Hello, returning Happies and new listeners. This is Steve

Stephen:

Bennett Martin. And this is Stephen Martin Bennett. And welcome to A Lifetime

Steve:

of Happiness, the podcast where we take you on our journey through what is helping to keep us happy while hopefully bring a smile to your face along the way.

Stephen:

And this month, we're switching our focus from solely movies and shows to share more about other areas of our life that bring us true happiness. And today it's all about tarot cards.

Steve:

But we also have to talk about The Other Black Girl because that show was amazing.

Stephen:

Yes. But first, my darling, what is making you happy? Work

Steve:

life boundaries. Do tell. Well, I decided about a month ago that I can't care about my... community more than the people responsible for running it. And that's freed up a lot of mental space for me to focus on other pursuits. I talked about better SRQ last week, and I just love that when I, like, leave work that I have my drive home to kind of do my inventory and process it and leave it behind and that like I can come home and have a great night with you. I don't remember even like on my crappy days at work the last time that I've come home and been like a miserable son of a bitch.

Stephen:

No. I would honestly agree that And you, honestly, you don't come home ever, being a miserable son of a bitch. Sometimes you would come home exhausted, exasperated, and just done. But you're never a bad person to be around. But you've come home lighter, and happier, and not having to pull yourself out of a funk.

Steve:

Yes, I enjoy it. What about you? So,

Stephen:

So, while you all are listening to this, I am in New

Steve:

Orleans. And I am all alone at home with Remy, just wondering if you're okay.

Stephen:

I'm pretty sure I'm calling you every day, so yeah, I'm okay. Okay. But I am at a metaphysical retreat that they call Witch Camp, and I am learning how to be... A better practitioner to help myself, help my family, and help all those people that come to my classes or watch my tarot videos and things like that. I'm just becoming better.

Steve:

Yes. Well, that is a theme for both of us then. Yes. And one of the things you just mentioned that you've been doing that helps me... More people, I think, than you also intended to, or thought it would at first, is Tarot. What is Tarot, or as some people call it, Tarot?

Stephen:

I don't like to pronounce it that way, so we're calling it Tarot. Okay. In the simplest terms, Tarot is a set of 78 cards used for divination. Divination being trying to figure out things about the future. Yeah. The cards are divided into Major Arcana, which are 22 cards numbered 0 to 21, and Minor Arcana, which has four suits like a regular deck of cards, but these are Wands. Wands. pentacles, cups, and swords with the cards going from ace to king, like playing cards. 14 in each suit for a total of 56 minor Arcana cards. Now, there are the different suits, like cups are related to water, and represent love, emotions, and relationships. What are

Steve:

wands? Do they give you magical powers?

Stephen:

Kind of. They're related to fire and represent creativity, intuition, ambition, and determination.

Steve:

And pentacles remind me of, like, devil signs, so they must be for, like, getting money and stuff, right? They are

Stephen:

re related to money, career, and achievements, and they also are associated with Earth. Each of the four suits, as you've heard, are associated with one of the four major

Steve:

elements. Yes, and I don't know about swords because my deck has stakes. What are the swords?

Stephen:

Air, and they represent your mind and intellect. Oh, okay. The most famous tarot deck that Like, if you see tarot represented in media, you're seeing something from the Rider Waite Smith tarot deck from 1909. Rider being the writer company that published the deck, Waite being A. E. Waite, the academic and mystic who wrote the meanings, and Smith being Pamela Coleman Smith, who illustrated the cards. And these original drawings and meanings still influence... Modern tarot decks today, whether they go along with the same type of drawings or not.

Steve:

Yeah, well, sounds good to me. Now, I know that you certainly have collected quite a few decks now, but did you ever have a tarot practice growing up? So,

Stephen:

at first, that so I saw this meme that was like, Tarot is a gateway to the devil, and underneath it it goes, no. Tarot is a gateway to more tarot. Yes. And so, that's what I've found to be true. But no growing up in the Bible Belt, tarot was seen as dangerous and of the devil. It was seen as dark, but I was fascinated by it. I loved the idea of fortune tellers and magic. And I learned more about it once I began reading comics, because there was an evil teen mutant named Tarot. Growing up, the internet wasn't really a thing until I was in high school, so knowledge wasn't as readily accessible as it is now, you know, social media and things. You learn a lot. We didn't have that. So I had my first tarot reading when I was 18 at a metaphysical shop. in a nearby city where I grew up.

Steve:

Yes, and before it became part of your practice, you also had was it a tarot reading, or was it just a normal psychic reading that foretold us being a thing?

Stephen:

Oh, so that was an actual tarot reading, so good memory. It was my first month in town. It was Sarasota Pride. I didn't have many friends yet, but I was going anyway, because I was like... I loved Pride in Cincinnati, so I was like, I'll go to Sarasota Pride. And there was a reader there, so I had her do a reading, and I asked about love. And she said, the person you're going to end up with is someone you already know. But they are not in your life right now. Which is And that's me! And it was you, because we had both moved to town at roughly the same time. We met each other on the apps.

Steve:

And we were not compatible at the moment because we were both settling into our new lives individually. Yes,

Stephen:

and lo and behold... Two years later,

Steve:

we were in the right place. Yes. And I don't care what came first, chicken or eggs, because they both are delicious, but what came first, tarot or moon ceremonies? Actually,

Stephen:

tarot led me to moon ceremonies. I had begun taking classes at the metaphysical shop here in Sarasota, and one of the first classes I took was Skye Samuels, who's now a close friend of mine. And I became fascinated, and I took several more of her tarot classes. And began learning on my own. And it was in taking the classes and meeting some of the amazing women at the store that I knew I wanted to be part of that. And the Moon Ceremonies came to be from that.

Steve:

Well, I am very glad you've done your practices of both because not only do you have your monthly Moon Ceremonies, you have daily Tarot Draws. Except on weekends. Except

Stephen:

on weekends. Yeah, sorry, Ronnie. How did that start? So... There are another type of card for divination that are called oracle cards. And the meanings of the oracle cards change by the deck, and so it's kind of written on the card what it is. And that's dependent on the writer and the artist of each deck, but with tarot cards, the meanings are the meanings. They don't really change. So if I wanted to be able to do tarot readings for people, I didn't want to have to look up the meanings, or worse, try to remember and be wrong. So I knew the best way to learn is to practice. And, you know, I've been taking the Tian Terra classes with Misha K. Nell here in town, and she's another incredible reader. But each day I pull three cards using my pendulum and the help of my spirit guides. And this daily work that I'm doing is helping me to better... Intuitively learn and memorize the cards and it's making me a

Steve:

better reader It certainly is and it's also turned into something that people look forward to How is that surprised you or what's that been like?

Stephen:

Yeah, because I don't know I guess I've always had that feeling that what I do may be enjoyed by a couple people, but I never Imagine it going out there and making people happy or enjoying it. Like, I love our podcast, but when I hear from people, they're like, Oh, it just makes me smile when you guys talk back and forth or when you laugh. I'm like, wow, I didn't, I didn't expect

Steve:

that part of it. Yeah, and I mean, I can relate because You know with our podcasting and other projects that we have it's one thing to see numbers on social media people who have listened or Downloaded or played but a lot of times people don't engage with everything that they've consumed with media And so so, you know, I don't think that you probably even realized how many people were looking forward to it each day until you Missed a day.

Stephen:

Yeah, I forget when it was I wasn't feeling great and I missed two days in a row And all of a sudden I started getting messages. Are you okay? What's going on? I was like, I just took a break. Well, you can't do that I hear.

Steve:

Yes, no you can't. And of all the major Arcana cards, do you have a favorite or two?

Stephen:

I have two favorites. So, there's the Hermit card, which is all about soul searching, introspection, and inner guidance. And I think it's important to learn to trust yourself and your intuition. I also enjoy the Wheel of Fortune card. It is not about Vanna White, surprisingly. It's about good luck and karma. And I truly believe in karma. But the wheel also says that if you're going through tough times, it will get better. And I find that reassuring. That is

Steve:

reassuring. And there's a billion minor cards. Yes. Do you have some in particular ones that you perk up whenever you draw? Yes,

Stephen:

so I love the Four of Swords. It is all about taking time to rest, meditate, and relax. Too many times we don't do that. And I love that the universe is like, Yeah, why don't you just go sit on the couch for a bit? I'm like, Okay, universe. That sounds great. There's the King of Cups. And that's all about being emotionally balanced, compassionate, and diplomatic. The King cards are all masters of their suits. And the King of Cups has to be able to be the master of his emotions. That doesn't mean he doesn't have emotions. It means he doesn't let them rule his life. And he's still able to be compassionate and diplomatic with those around him. And then there's the Nine of Wands. And this is all about resilience, courage, and persistence. Important qualities to have. And just a lovely reminder to keep going. Get back up. And push through.

Steve:

Yeah. And are there any cards that are misunderstood? I mean, the death card everyone sees and they're like, Oh no, death is bad. Exactly. Like the one we kind of learned in Senior Living, death itself isn't necessarily always bad. And also, the card itself, am I

Stephen:

right? Correct. Everyone gets worried because they think it means they're going to die, or someone they love will die. And so very, very rarely does the death card mean death. It means change. And change is good. Change is healthy. And if you think about it, death is honestly just a type of change. We should embrace change because when the universe brings us change... It means they have something better for us on the way.

Steve:

Yeah, well that doesn't sound as bad as dying. No. And of all of your many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many tarot decks, do you have any favorite tarot decks?

Stephen:

So, I think everyone needs to have a Rider Waite Smith deck. I made the mistake of wanting a pretty deck first. It is so much easier to learn on a Rider Waite Smith deck. So if you are thinking of learning, get a Rider Waite Smith deck and learn from there. Because once you learn on that, you can use almost any deck at that point. The Awakened Tarot. So this is inspired by Rider Waite Smith. But it's updated for the modern world we live in, which means it has It's not a bunch of white men. It's not a bunch of white men. You've got some QT BIPOC in there, so that's always nice. And then there's the X Men tarot by Jeremy Innes. You can find it on his Instagram. That's E N N I S Jeremy Innes. It's also inspired by Rider Waite Smith, but it has all of our favorite mutants. Do we own it? I do. Oh, okay. I want to see that. I will. I'll show it to you.

Steve:

Alright. Well, what reasons might people want to get a tarot reading done?

Stephen:

So, if you have a question or a decision you want help with, like a new job or a business, or if you want to know more about your romantic life, or if you just want a general reading to see where your life is headed in the future. Also, they're just fun. Yeah,

Steve:

Sky told me that Wayforth was a dead end job and the company went up six months after I left. Or a year after I left,

Stephen:

so. And thankfully our friend Cassidy is starting her own with all the wonderful things she learned while being there.

Steve:

Exactly. Yes, and how can people find your daily draws or reach out for a one on one

Stephen:

reading? So, I'm on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok, but the easiest way to find me is at linktr. ee or linktree slash RisingPhoenixSRQ.

Steve:

Excellent. And also, as we mentioned in Teased earlier, we binged the season of The Other Black Girl on Hulu.

Stephen:

So. Damn. Good.

Steve:

I am so glad that our Hulu thinks we are African American women at risk for HIV. Yeah! But Tristan, those are the only commercials we get! our commercials are, are, like, black pop culture, which Granted, it shows us what you watch, and you watch it, so it shows it.

Stephen:

And, I mean, I just watched The Blackening, and I've been watching some other things, so I get it. Yeah, and

Steve:

with all of our gay shit, they're like, girl, you gotta be on PrEP, and so it's just funny the way that Hulu has like... But we still see period and like tampon commercials randomly. So they're still figuring us out. They also know that we have a dog

Stephen:

now. Yep, I'm waiting for the AARP commercials because of me binging only murders in the building with two senior citizens. It's all right,

Steve:

you just have to have a couple more years before they start doing it based on your user demographics. You walked right into that one, my love. But yes, the other black girl is on Hulu and was a hit for us and the public. It's a mystery thriller series based on the book of the same name by... Zakiya

Stephen:

Delilah Harris. Thank you. Nella Rogers is an editorial assistant at Wagner Books and the only black girl working for the company until the hiring of Hazel May McCall. Following Hazel's hiring, strange occurrences lead to Nella discovering the truth about Wagner's disturbing history.

Steve:

That is a very well summarized summary.

Stephen:

Thank you. It's developed for TV by Zakiya Delilah Harris and actress Rashida Jones. I

Steve:

was gonna say, I know that name. Yep. And it stars Sinclair Daniel from Insidious The Red Door.

Stephen:

Which we just saw. Yep. Ashley Murray from

Steve:

Riverdale. Yep. Huter Parrish from Weeds.

Stephen:

Sorry, that was my fault. Hunter. Hunter Parrish. Hunter Parrish. I wrote that. Bellamy Young from Scandal.

Steve:

Eric McCormack of Will and Grace. And

Stephen:

Garcelle Bové from All Kinds of Things. I had to look up the pronunciation of her last name because growing up when I saw her on things like Central Park West, I thought her name was Garcelle Boévis. It's Bouvier. It's

Steve:

Bouvier. Alright. I was like, she starred in her last name, but I realized what you did there. Yup. So yes, what were your thoughts on just the setup and the concept? Like why did you hit play on that first episode?

Stephen:

I love any, like, mystery suspense type of show in general. Like we've watched the... Death on the Nile, and we've watched the Knives Out movies and things. Those are kind of our jams. Yeah, and

Steve:

even like modernized ones like The Girl on a Train, and Gone

Stephen:

Girl. That, I mean, this is all right up our alley, and so it just seemed like a good way to go, and from the trailer it seemed like there was maybe a little sci fi some type of elements going on as well. So that just fed more into it. The acting was so good. The acting

Steve:

was so good and the writing was just, you can tell that, like, the book, I can, like, I almost want to read the book even though I don't always read books. I know you will probably read it before I do. But I can only imagine, like, the extra layers that they didn't have a chance to include because there were so many layers in there that were so beautifully executed. We were guessing. The entire entire way

Stephen:

through and we were so wrong on so many things

Steve:

Yes, but I mean, I know that we can't really talk about the black experience, but we can talk about being the other at work What is your experience been like being the only gay guy at work or the token? LGBT person

Stephen:

so when I worked for peanuts and that was strange in such a large city Being the only gay person at Scripps was just so weird. I was like, there have to be more gay people. Nope. And then at Lakehouse. Like, oh I guess he was there, but that doesn't count. That doesn't count. And, you know, it's finally now at my current job where, like, I'm just surrounded by gays. Well, queer people. Yes. And it's great. Yeah. And, like... It is, like, isolating being the other because everyone wants to other you. Yeah. Like, I know in Senior Living you run into that all the

Steve:

time. Yeah, I remember the number of times where I was, like, flat out, like, just, like, told by people, like, Oh, you're just one of the girls. You're not a real guy, or blah blah blah. And, like, You know, it was more, I would think, sales and marketing, like, people would play up that trope with me, like, when I'm in the business office, people don't tend to care, they're just like, that's Steve, he's our flaming fruit, and we love him, like.

Stephen:

Now, did you, like, so, Nella has people coming up to her, wanting to be quote unquote, woke, with her, and show that they are trying to understand her. That happens with the gays.

Steve:

Oh, yeah. Oh, like all the time. They're like, oh, did you hear that Will and Grace is being rebooted? How

Stephen:

many times was that the first thing somebody told us when the news was coming out? And yeah, so while it's not the same, like there are parallels and we've felt some of those things now. And also the alienation because nobody else is really understanding what you're going through. Like one of the things that finally pulled the trigger for me to leave my last job was just very people talking about being non binary or transgender as not real and just something to do because it's fashionable. And then when I spoke up and said that no one chooses Oppression, because it's popular, I was the one that got in trouble for making the people that had been bigoted feel uncomfortable.

Steve:

Yeah, that's not cool. And so we've definitely experienced it. Now, if there was a method that can make all of your dreams come true, but you had to sacrifice part of your queerness to get it, you had to be more like them and fit in more like them to get it, would you do it?

Stephen:

So I thought about this like would it make me a log cabin Republican? Which are the gay Republicans? Would it? Make me okay with casual racism, or,

Steve:

We can assume it would do what happened here.

Stephen:

No, I couldn't do it. I, that, it, I don't think, and this may be being a little dramatic, I don't think selling my soul and my conscience and my authenticity is worth anything.

Steve:

Yeah, no, I agree, and maybe I would have done it like a couple years ago, cause it, like, you know, now it almost feels like a shortcut, cause I've done a lot of the personal work. Yeah. But I also feel like I'm at the stage where, like, My queerness is probably one of the most like fascinating fabulous things about me and like what makes me such a unique person is Like my ability to like live so authentically that I wouldn't want to change that Exactly. So on that note, I think that's a great place to end check out the other black girl And if you don't know what's coming next up in your life reach out to Steven for it Tara reading and follow him on Instagram So you can reach out to the podcast at happy life pod at gmail. com

Stephen:

Or you can find us On Facebook or Instagram at Happy Life

Steve:

Pod. And you're on Instagram for your tarot draws at,

Stephen:

You can find me at, the easiest way to do it is The link tree that you made for me, so Linktree slash RisingPhoenixSRQ

Steve:

Well my love, I hope you're having fun at Witch Camp right now.

Stephen:

I probably am, but I'm probably missing you too. All right. Well, I

Steve:

hope you come home soon. I love you. I love you too. And I love you listeners for tuning into another episode. So we'll see you next time. And until then, Stay happy.